What I’m Running For
I’m certainly running for my well-being, but I’m also running for all of the lives in my life, both two-legged and four-legged, that have touched me so deeply. Their well-being is just as important to me as my own. My only wish is that every day I live up to serving them.
“Welcome back Mr. Rubenstein!” Those were the first words I heard after I felt my body jump off the table from the electrical shock of the defibrillator. It was the second the doctor ordered after the first didn’t bring me back. I was in the cardiac critical care unit at NYU experiencing cardiac torsades. The doctors and nurses were racing against the clock to complete an angioplasty procedure to open my fully blocked LAD artery and stop my heart attack. I wasn’t having just any heart attack. I was having what medical professionals commonly call “The Widowmaker”. I remember feeling very cold when I regained consciousness after the second shock. Shortly after, I felt what I could only describe as the best warm bath I have ever taken. Blood was flowing again from my heart to the rest of my body after Dr. Razzouk and his team successfully opened my LAD and inserted the first of 4 stents into my heart. I then heard the entire team having what I could best describe as a touchdown celebration. I didn’t realize what was happening when it was happening. There was no white light or flashbacks of my life lived like many people who describe a near-death experience. The best I can describe it is that I felt like I was slipping away and then suddenly I was back. “Thank you! It’s good to be back!” I replied to Dr. Razzouk. I can never thank Dr. Razzouk, the other doctors and nurses in the room that day enough for doing something remarkable – saving my life!
It was October 5th, 2022 and I started the day like every other day since I moved back to NY to open our first PUPS store in Brooklyn. I said an early morning goodbye to Alisa, my fiance then and now wife, at the G train station for her morning commute, and then headed to Orange Theory. I had what at the time I thought was an intense workout, after which I headed to our store down the street which was currently under construction. As I performed my daily walk-through with the contractor, I felt as if I couldn’t shake off the fatigue from my workout. I climbed a ladder to our second-floor mezzanine and started to feel pain in my chest. About 2 hours later and after multiple attempts to “walk off” the pain, I found myself in an ambulance on my way to NYU Hospital.
When I arrived at the hospital, it was so crowded that the EMTs stuck me in the back hallway next to the exit doors. I was on the gurney in a fetal position suffering immensely. About 10 minutes after I arrived, one of the nurses came to administer an EKG. She could hardly get the sensors on my body as I couldn’t lie still. When she finally got her reading, the look on her face said it all! Something was seriously wrong. She disappeared from my sight but immediately returned with a doctor. As if it was written in a script, Alisa who was 4 months pregnant at the time, found me in the ER just as the doctor told me, “Mr. Rubenstein you are having a heart attack and we take these situations very seriously.” The look of concern on Alisa’s face was palpable after she heard those words. All I could think about was how this was affecting her. I felt so terrible that I had put her in a position where she had to worry about me. I told her “I’m sorry, honey” as a nurse moved me to another area of the ER.
I’ve never been undressed so fast in my entire life as the ER team prepared to rush me up to the Cardiac Critical Care Unit. I could best describe the look on their faces as one of concern and expert concentration. They had done this 1000s of times. As the life-saving operation was in full swing, all I could think about at that moment was Alisa and how I was not going to leave her, my unborn child, or my two kids, Sydney and Mia. In my mind, I started to get very focused on three words . . . “I’m coming back!” I must have said it to myself a hundred times before I even said it out loud. Yes, I was definitely thinking about Alisa, Sydney, Mia, and my unborn daughter, Eva, but I also thought of my extended family including all the amazing people who work with me at PUPS. I thought to myself. I have to stay so I can take care of them. That is my purpose in this world. I had to come back to make sure they were OK. This wasn’t an ego trip. I was and still am well aware that everyone would do just fine without me. It was more of a yearning for me because it gives me so much pleasure to take care of others. My entire life has been dedicated to caring for others. It was the main reason that I started my first business, All for Doggies, and 25 years later, I’m still committed to caring for others at PUPS Pet Club.
The care team started to wheel me out of the ER at a hurried pace. They told Alisa that she had to stay behind. The last thing I said to her was, “I’m not leaving you. I’m coming back” even though I didn’t know at the time that I had a fairly slim chance of surviving. I believed then as I do now that if you set your mind to something you will manifest it. I think it is certainly part of the reason that I am still here today.
Before my heart attack, I was an endurance athlete. I have competed in 2 marathons, 3 full Ironmans, about 25 half Ironmans, and countless running and triathlon short course races – some of which I won! I love everything about endurance sports – especially the community, the competition, and the commitment of all the athletes. After my heart attack, I struggled to walk a block. I decided to stop drinking alcohol and smoking Marijuana which I enjoyed recreationally to relax. I committed to a completely healthy lifestyle. While I spent time recovering my team at PUPS rallied around me. Looking back now, they were doing what they do best – taking care of others. They just stepped up their effort to take care of me on top of their teammates, our pet parents, and their pups.
Many people talk about the profound changes in their lives after a near-death experience. I can surely say that I have the same morals and values that I had before my experience. What is different for me are a few things. For one, I don’t sweat the small stuff as much as I used to. Second, no matter how challenging my circumstances are I always know that things will work out for the best. Lastly, I cherish the moments I have with my loved ones, friends, and team more deeply. I find myself listening more intently with the hope of understanding and connecting. At home, this has made me a better husband and father. At work, it’s made me a better leader and teammate to all the amazing people who make PUPS such a special place.
It’s now been 1.5 years since my heart attack and longer since my last endurance race. This past February I signed up for the Brooklyn Half Marathon on April 28th. The race is an important milestone for me. I get to do something that I love again for the first time in a long time. I’m certainly running for my well-being, but I’m also running for all of the lives in my life, both two-legged and four-legged, that have touched me so deeply. Their well-being is just as important to me as my own. My only wish is that every day I live up to serving them. Thankfully my heart health is great so it’s highly unlikely that you will find me on a hospital gurney any time soon. Where you will find me is at the starting line of the race where I already know what I’ll be thinking and saying out loud. . .
“Thank you. It’s good to be back!”
